You want some exposition? You got it.

Dear reader(s?):


I'm sure you all want to know what the point of this blog is. Well, there's a short version and a long version.


The Short Version:


Diagnosed with papillary thyroid cancer October 2008, middle of junior year of college. Surgery. Crazy treatment involving radioactive iodine - basically went on a lame diet for a long time AND off hormone meds, then swallowed a radioactive pill and couldn't go near living creatures for 5-7 days. Then, remission for about two seconds. December 09, routine scan went bad. March 2010, cancer again! More surgery in April. Now a summer of crazy radioactive iodine treatment! Again! This time decided to blog about it, mostly because last time I was really really bored. And I like to write. And I also like to talk about myself.


The Long Version:


...really? You want the long version? Okay, here, how about just a list of FAQs about my condition, and if anyone wants to know anything else you can leave it in the comments. K?


What is papillary thyroid cancer?
Well, everyone knows what cancer is. Papillary is the most common type of cancer that occurs in the thyroid. A thyroid is a little butterfly-shaped gland in the front of your neck that controls your hormone production, especially metabolism (a lot of overweight or underweight people have thyroid problems). Papillary thyroid cancer is actually quite treatable in most cases - five year survival rates are generally above 95 percent, especially in young people. So no, I am not going to die. At least not from thyroid cancer. At least not anytime soon.


How did you get it? Did you have any symptoms?
No idea. The surgeon who removed my thyroid said he thought I might've had a condition called Hashimoto's Disease which causes the thyroid gland to overproduce hormones and simply never noticed it. Apparently some doctors think that Hashimoto's can lead to thyroid cancer. Still no official cause, though. And I never had any symptoms beforehand. I was on my way to a class one afternoon when I noticed in the mirror that my neck was shaped wrong - there was a huge lump on the left side that hadn't been there the day before. I went to the school wellness center, and was told things like "it can't possibly have grown that fast, it must have been there for months without you noticing it", "you're the medical mystery of the day!", and "it's probably not cancer". A few weeks later...mystery solved.


Wait - they removed your thyroid gland? All of it? Can you live without one?
Obviously I'm still alive, so I think that answers the last question (and yes, people have asked me that). Thyroid surgeries are actually quite common, as are thyroid problems, especially in women. People with thyroid problems usually take hormone-replacement drugs to correct imbalances, and people like me can live just fine on thyroid-replacement medication. When my dose is right I actually feel better than I did before. But getting the right dose is tricky and usually takes a year or two, plus I have to be on overdose when the docs think I still have cancer because it keeps thyroid cells from reproducing. So most of the time I feel like crap.


WTF is radioactive iodine?
Most cancer patients get chemo and/or radiation - thyca (that's our cute little nickname for thyroid cancer) patients get radioactive iodine treatments. Radioactive iodine, as some of my doctors have put it, is kind of a "silver bullet" for thyroid cancer. Because treating cancer is like killing werewolves, only not as cool. Anyway, the basic point as I understand it is that thyroid cells drink in iodine to function, so to get rid of cancerous thyroid cells they "starve" them of iodine for a long time - which means a low-iodine diet and no hormone meds - and then give them a huge radioactive dose of iodine to "ablate" them (blow them up). If you've ever seen a cartoon where the monster is killed by feeding it so much food that it explodes - it's like that. Only on a microsopic scale. And not as cool.


So it's not chemo?
Technically, as I was told by nuclear medicine doctor, it is a form of specialized, targeted chemo. As far as I understand (let's all keep in mind that I have no medical training whatsoever) chemotherapy basically means a treatment for cancer that involves using chemicals to kill a large number of cells in the area with the cancer, both healthy and unhealthy. Radioiodine falls under that category. Sometimes I refer to it as chemo in conversations because it's easier to say and understand than "radioactive iodine" or "nuclear medicine treatment", etc. But no, it doesn't make your hair fall out, and usually there's no vomiting involved.


But you can live without your medicine for that long?
If you can call it living.  For about 4-6 weeks, yes. If I were to not take them at all for...maybe 2-3 months or more, I would eventually die. Again, this is according to one of my doct ors. But being off meds for a long time is pretty miserable. Being low on thyroid hormones causes a person to become what is known as "hypothryoid" - we cancer patients call it "going hypo". Side effects of hypothryoidism include extreme tiredness, extreme depression, extreme coldness, and being an extreme bitch to one's loved ones.


What does a low-iodine diet consist of?
Hardtack and gruel. Nuts and berries. Crap. It's complicated, but the three major categories of foods to avoid are salt, dairy, and seafood. Guess what has salt and dairy in it? Pretty much everything you can find at any grocery store. Mostly I eat fresh fruits and vegetables, whatever meat I can find that hasn't had any preservatives added (this usually involves specialty butchers), kosher foods, and rare salt-free versions of things to which I add kosher salt (the only kind of salt allowed). Oh, and if I can find a breadmaker I can make my own bread. But seriously, it pretty much is nuts and berries, because I can't cook. At all.


Does it usually come back?
Nope. Based on estimates from various doctors, there was a 3-10% chance of my cancer recurring. I'm just lucky.


Who the hell are you, anyway?
Oh, right! Me! This is my favorite topic! Uh, for starters, I'm 22 years old, about to graduate from college with two bachelor's degrees in English and Theatre. I live in the big city. Currently I'm trying to find summer work to pay for grad school in the fall and taking the last class I need to finish up all my core credits for undergrad. I'm enrolled in a masters program in Writing and Publishing, and no I don't know what I want to do with my life. Right now my goals pretty much consist of getting through cancer treatment and paying my rent. Unfortunately those are not mutually exclusive.


Other questions??
Leave a comment. If you want more info about thyroid cancer, thyca.org is a really great resource. Thyroid cancer is rare and doesn't get a lot of press, but it's one of the most common cancers in college students like me and instances of thyroid cancer are growing rapidly, so it's important to check your neck for lumps. And that's all the stereotypical cancer patient stuff I'm going to say for now.


Yours,
Radioactive Girl